Lies, Lies, And More Lies: Why You Need A Lawyer When Dealing With A Lying Ex

Divorce turns ugly when an ex-spouse or soon-to-be-ex spouse decides to "play unfairly." Simply put, he or she decides to lie and picks the most hurtful ways to lie. These lies tend to put you in a very bad situation, making you appear abusive, neglectful, incestuous, or otherwise criminal in regard to the children you share. Knowing that these are the only circumstances that the court really cares about when it comes to dividing custody and child support, you are in for a world of hurt if you do not have a family lawyer to help you. Here are some reasons why these situations could go really wrong really fast, and how your lawyer can help.

Accusations and Police on Your Doorstep

In your attempt to keep open communication about the children, your ex may use something you said against you. He or she may twist what was said, take it to the police, and then you have the police on your doorstep. Despite the fact that you want to clear your name and prove that you have nothing to hide (along with disproving whatever your ex said to the police), you should never allow the police into your home. Regardless of what the officers say, you have that right by law to keep them from entering unless they have probable cause or a warrant. If they do not have either, they stay out of your home.

How You Should Handle the Police Instead

Instead, keep them on your doorstep in conversation. Refer them to your lawyer, telling them that whatever your ex said should be taken to your lawyer to be properly explained/disseminated. When the police have some knowledge of what is going on between you and your ex, and your lawyer knows what the ex is trying to pull, your lawyer can create a defense that will destroy the accusations and prove such accusations as false. 

Record in Writing or by Voice Recording What Your Ex Says

Going forward, every time you interact with your ex, record the conversation. There are apps on smartphones that allow you to do this. You can also write it down, word for word, immediately after you have had contact. If the conversation has anything significant in it, such as your ex admitting to lying about you abusing the children or inferring that he/she is punishing you, show it to your lawyer. DO NOT fabricate such conversations, because then you are just as guilty of lying as your ex is! Your lawyer will know what to do with the information you provide.